Food Challenge

So, as I stated before, for the month of October, I will not be dining out,ordering take out or making frozen dinners. I will be cooking every meal, and testing out certain recipes. I went through all my cookbooks last night and flagged a number of potential meals. I'm excited for this, however, I have some issues...I want to preface this by saying, I am not a picky eater by any means. I will try anything at least once, I love sushi, all things meat, fish, cheese, kale. But we all have that one thing that just grosses us out...

I have an intense fear of chicken. Well, its not so much a fear as the fact that I have issues with chicken. This can be traced back to when I was 10 years old. We had incubated eggs in 5th grade for a project and when they hatched,I found that mine was a rooster! At that time, my hippie aunt was being all organic (before it was trendy) and had her own chicken coop. The plan was that when Rock-a-doodle (I was a very special child) was big enough, we would introduce him to the chicks, and then there would be little peeps running around. Fun, right? Weeelll....when we put little Rocky in the coop with the chicks, those bitches pecked him to death right in front of my impressionable, big Bambi eyes! Thus, the root of my issues with chicken.

That childhood trauma aside, I am completely disgusted by the appearance of raw chicken. I cannot handle and prepare raw chicken, cook it and then eat it without vomiting. I have tried preparing it different ways, some of which I have very little contact with the raw bits, but it doesn't work. Its not this way with all meats. I can rub a raw steak all over my body, with blood oozing out everywhere, slap it on the grill with some seasoning and 15min later enjoy the shit out of it. I can cook a mean turkey, ram stuffing up the ass like it's my job and have no problem gorging myself with that. But chicken, I'm lucky to force down a few pieces.

I tried to overcome my issues with chicken once and for all, and bought a 10-lb Costco size bag of boneless, skinless chicken tenderloins, the most unassuming and least disgusting cut of chicken. I took some giblets out, marinated them in a homemade lemon/dill slop, came home after worked, baked them in the oven. The overall presentation was very nice, however, three bites in, I was done. Only 9.8-lbs to force my way through (I admit, attempting to overcome a fear using Costco size anything is not the most logical idea, however I have my best "I'm going to overcome my fear" moments whilst perusing the world size packs of food). I refused to give the rest of the chicken away or throw it out. So, I made chicken salad with the remainding 9.8-lbs. I had to made the chicken salad, and then attempt to eat it two days later so the image of the nasty rawness being flung into the boiling water was not in the forefront of my brain. It took me about 6 months to get through the bag.

Interestingly enough, if someone else handles, prepares and cooks the chicken, I have less of an issue. As long as I am no where near the preparation of it, I am ok...for the most part. I still get grossed out and don't finish it...especially if I hit one of the grisly parts or a vein. I'm throwing up a little in my mouth just thinking about it.

So yes, I'm 26 years old, and I have a fear of raw chicken. Is there a support group for this? I continue to try to force myself to overcome this, but maybe the bottom line is that I really don't like chicken and would prefer meat or fish. And maybe I just need to accept that. And maybe someday, I will stop having nightmares of raw chicken cutlets running after me and slapping me in the face.

FYI-my own personal hell: Me surrounded by gorgeous gay men, forced to wear a Penn State jersey, Yankees hat, the pointest boots known to man kind, and eat raw chicken, and having to make out with someone like the guy on "Lots to Love" while someone puts their sweaty, smelly feet in my ears....or something to that effect.


LOVE!