What not to do whilst Hooking up....A mutual friend and I were really giving it to S for her antics from the weekend that she so lovingly portrayed in yesterdays blog (which I have re-read multiple times and still end up snorting whatever beverage I'm currently drinking...not a very pleasant experience with hot tea, mind you). Obviously we were not being discrete about the teasing, and were using the ever-so-popular-though-soon-to-be ancient Facebook wall posts as our forum (yes, we are all employed, yet clearly have a significant amount of free time on our hand for the important issues).
In jest I posted the following:
I absolutely loved the story from Sat night after I left you guys. Do you have any war wounds or a fetish for guys that don't speak English?Clearly a joke, made even more obvious by the blog that was posted yesterday. Who actually uses a Facebook wall as a soapbox for deep seeded issues you clearly have with society? I had to ask. Enter Frenchie, who chose to post the following:
Many of you are so delusional. Most of you are stuck with this ONE and only socially acceptable fetish, that is; having some knight showing up dressed in a white shining armour riding a horse wanting to give you some 100K+ ring... Why would I be riding a horse? I don't ride a horse... So, how about an armour? Just forget it! What's the deal with ring thing? They're so useless... So, why stick to this only one language? Come on!! GET REAL!!!(Enough said...).
(this is an actual wall post that was then removed by said Frenchie before I was given a chance to get on my soap box and respond, thus the following)
Multiple reactions to this posting:
1. I'm not quite sure what American girls he has been talking to/meeting/viewing on TV, but unless he met the real life versions of Gossip Girl, I feel I can safely say that no girl is actually waiting for a knight in shining armor to come galloping up with a 100K ring and whisk us away to Never Never Land where we would have endless mind-blowing orgasms, never have to give blow-jays, where chocoloate flows like water, and there are pools of hot cheese everywhere for dipping. Where we can just lay on the beach all day long, sipping champagne and chowing down on some bon-bons. Sigh...
2. I'm pretty sure, here in America, we spell armor without the u. See 'armory'. Also in doing the spell check for this posting, I found multiple errors, thus debunking most of his accusations due to poor spelling.
3. So, this guy doesn't ride a horse, bummer. I guess I can get past that and see all his wonderful qualities that he is bringing to the table...
4. I'm not sure what/who he's referring to about the ring thing, but I'm pretty sure I said nothing about wanting a 100K rock to go along with my knight in shining armor...perhaps he's referring to my subtle between the lines jabber. If he were to get to know me, or any other sensible American gal, perhaps he would find out that most of us don't really want a huge rock...in fact I would jack a guy in the balls if he spent that much on a ring. Do you know how many other things you can do with 100K? So, perhaps he should get off the Blair Waldorf A-train to blue-ball city, and get back down to good ol' American reality.
5. I'm sorry if in my comment I insinuated that only American guys are worthy. I apologize that he is so insecure with himself that he can take a comment made in complete jest, and morph it into this intense hatred of anything non-American. He will clearly be single for life...or simply marry one of his own. You know, I didn't jump on the band wagon when everyone was hating on the French back in 2001. I still called them "french fries" and "french toast" instead of the Americanized "freedom fries". I stuck up for the French, because they were like the little underdeveloped girl in high school that all the bitches made fun of when they found out she stuffed her bra and then told everyone...and yes, that was me.
Regardless, I take offense to this whole rant because I never once said that you had to choose someone that spoke English to hook up with. I commend S on her choice of taking the Brazilian home. They are rumored to be one of the best in the sack, so naturally, I am curious. But then again, that is simply a cultural stereotype, and clearly this gentleman does not adhere to cultural stereotypes...
In conclusion, I am just very sorry that the french think American girls are stuck on one socially acceptable fetish...if only he knew...
LOVE!
So eloquent, my dear. It was obvi a joke and he just wanted to ruin it for us.
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