Crystal Baller

While I don’t enjoy admitting this, I am a superstitious person by nature. There are certain things I have to do every morning to ensure that I will have a good day and if I don’t do them, inevitably things do not end up going my way. I read my horoscope daily, and while I wouldn’t consider myself gullible, I take it as a suggestion.

I’ve always been interested in astrology and truly believe I embody the characteristics of typical Scorpio: dark featured, flirtatious, intense, seductive, stubborn. You only get one chance with me and once you cross me, you're dead to me. I know how to use my looks to get what I want. I can be extremely jealous when given reason to be, and once you have me as a friend, I am extremely loyal (hear that bossman?!).

Seeing as I have no direction and am unsure as to where my life is going to lead, the obvious thing to do is got get my palms read, which is what I did last week by Mrs. Natalie in Georgetown. I was looking for answers, but how much can you really rely on what a psychic tells you? Mrs. Natalie told me that I hate my job and it’s not what I’m meant to do (which, if you've been paying attention, know this is true). I need to do something that involves directly interacting and helping people…like event planning or teaching. Clearly, this was just the push I needed to walk into my place of employment, say “Fuck all y’all” and peace out. Although she told me my parents would support my decision to waitress until I get my event planning off the ground, my father was none too pleased with the “but the psychic told me to” reasoning.

She informed me (as if this were ground breaking information) that my love life is a disaster. Anyone who has known me is aware of this. However, apparently there will be two major contenders that I will have to choose from in July, and the one I choose will end up being ‘the one’. Guy #1 is someone I already know, and #2 is someone I will meet in the next two weeks. So now every time I meet someone new, I’m thinking “Are you guy #2? Are you one of the two and quite possibly the one I am meant to be with?” It’s very stressful. When she described the one that I would pick, it was a spot on description of a certain someone, and now I can’t stop thinking about it. This certain someone is moving here in July, which apparently is going to be a big month for me…coincidence? I’m not sure.

How legit is Mrs. Natalie? I’m still on the fence, although I can’t deny the creepiness of how spot on she was about certain things. I am going to investigate this further by doing one or all of the following things: 1. Go to another psychic for a second opinion/reiterate what I’ve already been told; 2. Wait until July to see if spectacular things happen and then make a point of going to her on a weekly basis to guide my life; 3. Take it with a grain of salt, go back for a tarot card reading for fun, and see what pans out.

Bottom line: I need to convince Jen to quit grad school and begin our party starter business or become the class stripper I've always dreamed about, because both are professions that would directly be helping people. I will be off the market come July (sorry boys) and on my way to marital bliss by age 32, after which I will pop out two beautiful kids. Mrs. Natlie also informed me of my overall awesomeness, to which I simply replied "d'uh".


LOVE!