wedding date

It is true that we are in this purgatory stage like J stated the other day. I mean there are those of us that are married, engaged, buying homes, having babies...then there's me who still goes out, gets sloppy drunk on weekends, drunk dials like its my job, and just look damn good doing it.

My friends have caught the marriage bug, and I have three weddings to attend this summer. Now, you would think that my initial reaction to receiving news of the impending weddings would be something along the lines of excitement for the future couples and happiness that they have found each other and have decided to take this next step together...

You would be wrong.

My first reaction was: "Shit, who the hell is going to be my date to these?" I've started a count down...a deadline, if you will, because you cannot go to these functions solo. That would be dangerous, especially for this girl...especially when there is an open bar (or I bring my own flask). I mean, do I really want to cement for myself the reputation of being "that" friend? You know, the one the gets sloppy, hits on everything with a penis and ends up wiping out on the dance floor while droppin it like its hot? Let's face it, I know I'll probably be 'that girl', but I'd rather 'that girl' with a date.

So, I made a mental list of potential dates in my head, and it goes something like this:

1. My best guy friend...now this would be the best choice, however 7 months ago, we decided to try to be more than just friends and things did not really work out, at all...and we're not really friends any more. I'm hopeful that we'll get back to being friends at some point...I mean, we have to, however, this does not help me with the current situation. Way to go me.


2. the love of my life...who also happens to be my brothers best friend. This is a whole other blog in and of itself...and not a possibility...yet.

3. 7th grade crush that I've recently reconnected with. This is a definite possibility, however, the potential hook up that would inevitably lead to some kind of awkward ending/ceasing to hang out that could occur prior to the wedding, leaving me with no date is very high, thus making this an unreliable choice.

4. This leaves the random-guy-I-meet-at-a-bar-in-my-drunken-sloppiness-that-is-every weekend as my date. Which, honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about committing to a a wedding date with someone I meet at a bar.

I think this last point really brings to light why I will end up being dateless to all these weddings. So bottom line, I'll have to find a killer dress, fill my flask and just warn all male attendees ahead of time that I will be drinking, dancing and on the prowl. Hopefully I don''t wake up next to the overweight, obnoxious, drug addict, second cousin twice removed, who has no job because he has been in and out of rehab, has 4 illegitimate children, and an unsightly hairy mole on his face. It's a wonder I'm single, right?

LOVE!